Wonted

Ryan saw this in Ebensburg about a week and a half ago. Hilarious.

Nobody's Poet

My evening, paraphrased:

Ryan: (singing) If you like pina coladas ...

Me: Huh?

Ryan: (still singing) ... pina coladas

Me: That's a terrible song ... about cheaters ... like that stupid Hinder song.

Ryan: Blah blah blah Hinder sux blah blah blah total suckage.

Me: I know, totally, but seriously ... that song is TOTALLY about cheaters. CHEATERS! The guy takes out an ad in the paper because he's sick of her; she takes out an ad because she's sick of him. Then they totally answer eachother's ads. Hello -- cheaters! Then they just laugh and get drunk and do it.

**uncontrollable laughter***

Ryan: Get drunk and do it?

Me: When, really, they should be like, "W-T-F? See you later ... but like C-U-L-eight-er ... with an eight. ... Seriously, WTF?

Ryan: ...

**uncontrollable laughter, snorting, and crying**

End scene.

Personality

Source: Toothpaste for Dinner

Exactly.

Resignation

After the week from hell that I had last week, I am grateful for a new week.

Last week, I resigned to the fact that I don't play well with others. I won't go into detail, but let's just say that I had a terrible week that I hope to never repeat again. I also think that last week will probably result in it being suspected that I have an "attitude problem", when, in actuality, it's not an attitude problem. It's me trying to get things done well and done properly within a reasonable time frame. And it's me being an adult and not a "kiddo." (I'm 25, not 5. Unless you are over the age of 70, you are one of my parents, or you are one of my aunts or uncles, you are not allowed to call me kiddo. I don't call you old lady/man, now do I? Of course not, it's innapropriate.) And it's me standing up against someone that probably has never had to deal with someone that doesn't let people walk all over her and doesn't let stupid, illogical things continue to happen. Solution: The wheels have been set in motion. Here's to hoping that the results will be positive.

Last week, I resigned to the fact that if I eat anything containing wheat gluten, I'm rendered useless for the next hour or two while my body becomes bloated, gassy, nauseated, itchy, and pretty much "gross feeling". I went for my wheat gluten allergy test on Thursday. While it can come back negative, that won't mean much of anything though. Negative doesn't necessarily mean negative, but positive definitely means positive. So, yeah, it's not definitive. Either way, I'm pretty sure that people don't feel like this every single time they eat. Solution: I stopped eating wheat gluten and yeast; now I feel a million times better. I think I feel ... normal.

Last week, I resigned to the fact that my mouth is expensive. My dental work (a.k.a. surprise root canal and porcelain crown) were not covered by my dental insurance because I haven't worked at my company for a year yet. My "dental agenda" with my dentist was also kind of rushed, so things are happening a little quicker than I had planned, which means I'm paying for things earlier than I had planned. I'm done with dental work until it's the new benefit period with my insurance. I'm crossing my fingers, and eating only soft foods until then. Solution: I set up a budget/debt reduction plan to pay everything off as quickly as possible. I think I'm comfortable with it.

The week ahead will be another whirlwind of working late to meet a deadline, writing articles for approval, and then going to a friend's wedding on Saturday.

Can it be September? Please?

Accidental Porn

Tweet

In recent weeks, I have become rather fond of Twitter. I don't know what took me so long. I can quickly vent my frustrations and read my friends' tweets through TwitterFox or Twitterrific. It's short and sweet. 90% of the time it's entertaining. Sometimes I just don't get it. Sometimes it breaks my heart. Sometimes it saves me money. Sometimes it keeps me in the loop. Sometimes it fails.

Dearest Twitter, you are, however, lacking in features that could make you nearly perfect:

• A way to read all @replies to a tweet. Maybe this feature is there, and I'm missing it? I would like to see the answers someone receives when they ask a question. I asked for web hosting suggestions a few weeks ago, and I'm sure someone else may have benefited from the responses.
  
• A way to @reply to specific tweets. Again, maybe I'm missing this? I hate hitting @reply in Twitterriffic or TwitterFox only to end up looking like I've responded to the latest tweet, when, in actuality, I am replying to one from an hour earlier. I do not like looking like a moron.
  
• A way to edit your last tweet. This morning I was barely awake, and I typed 'their' instead of 'there', and then panicked because someone on the internets may have witnessed a grammar faux pas -- from me! On Saturday, my iPhone's predictive text had me tweet "Hooray for almost dying I'm Sheetz. Wet floor signs - use 'em." when, clearly, I meant "in Sheetz". Again, I do not like looking like a moron!
  
• Tweet via IM. C'mon. You had it working before!
• A way to group those that you follow. I have several people that I follow that I'd love to see their messages right away, and a few that can wait for later because they're easier to follow in context, e.g. one tweet right after another.

So, Twitter, what can we do about this?

Also, somewhat related, Ryan finds it hilarious that I actually used the word tweet, in context, in actual conversation with him last week. If he used Twitter, I'd ask you all to @reply him to death with 'tweet'.

A Relationship in 140 Characters or Less

Some of my saved text messages from June 20-July 25.

Me: I'm sitting in Subway waiting for your watches while two men are having a Bill Pullman/Paxton debate.

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Ryan: U smell

Me: U break remotes

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Ryan: I think this weird sheetz employee is stalking me

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Ryan: Nerdle

Me: I hate motorcycles-HATE

Ryan: Haha

Me: Peewee on a motorcycle! omg

Ryan: Is it homo blue?

Me: No idea. Almost wrecked because I was laughing so hard

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Ryan: "Do you know how bad water tastes when it's not what you want" what the hell is that moron talk

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Ryan: Intardnets down there eh?

Me: Yes

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Ryan: They can test for strep in the office?

Me: Um - always ...

Ryan: Don't remember that ... tonsils are swollen

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Ryan: Behold the power of cheese!

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Ryan: Shoulda stayed home

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Ryan: Damn windmill blades

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Me: Shake shake shake uh shake it!

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Me: Ewww ... schweatty ballz!

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Ryan: He prolly eats people

Ryan: Gravel voice Rawr Rawr rawr

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Me: 1) WTF is up w/ ur away msg at home, 2) I have ur expense check, 3) tweet